The Beards Rest.

Thursday was a free day and we used it to mostly just rest and laze around. We walked down to Oscar's for lunch.
I found out about it by talking to this guy in a bar on Wednesday named Adon. His dad owns it and he works there. He kept bragging about his tortas... with good reason. They were delicious.
A few walks around town, a quick nap, and we were back in business and eating dinner at the local Irish bar called McGinley's. Good traditional Irish music and a few pints of beer (Guinness anniversary and few Alaskan Ambers). I met up with Paul there and after McGinley's began our next leg of pub crawling. Found Antony and two New Zealanders, Tim and Ian, at another bar and just went from there. Nice relaxing day and the tension is rising for the upcoming "Parade of Beards" and actual competition.

When Beards Collide

Wednesday began with another walk downtown to acquire some sort of small amount of food to tide us over before the welcome picnic for all the competitors. I got myself a reindeer sausage off a street vendor. Delicious.


We had a nice time around the city again and met some local eskimo people who had been drinking and, what looked like, doing a few other extracurriculars. They ended up being very nice and telling us about magpies and how to pet a moose (all you need is a lot of booze for yourself and a tree branch for the moose, it's that easy!) We began to mill around the Egan Center, where some buses were supposed to pick everyone up, and slowly but surely the beards began to converge. We must have looked like quite the motley crew, a bus full of beards and moustaches. Once at the park, we mostly just talked to people for the next four hours. Free beer and food would have been a large enough draw on their own, but add in world class facial hair and you know that everyone was going to be there. And here we go with the hairiest pictures known to man...

This guy with the orange (I can't really remember a lot of these names because we met so many people) is from New Orleans and I thought he was in some kind of costume since he had on the orange jacket and was wearing sweat pants tucked into his tube socks, all locked down with velcro shoes, but no. That's his everyday outfit.


This German guy, Fritz, was a real character. He didn't speak any English, but basically hammed it up with everyone and was just loving it. He won third place at last competition in the Gerabaldi category. All the Germans were there singing and dancing... it felt like being back in a Munich for just a few minutes.

This little guy was possibly the coolest, most Grandpa like person around. He even has a small little squeaky voice that just adds to his miner look.

Albert Einstein's real name is apparently Keith and he hails from Cumbria. We talked to him a lot as he was there on his own and didn't really know anyone. He's got a very charming accent and, apparently, is planning on wearing a kilt for the competition. Mom can't wait.

Once this guy got there the party really began. His name is Gerhard from Germany and won third place last time in the full beard freestyle category. He's on a lot of posters downtown. I saw his ring and it's a diamond studded gold thing with a tiny pair of scissors in the middle of the diamonds.
This guy with the leather jacket was tromping around when we first got there with his aviators on he always carried his dark leather briefcase like he was on a mission. I pegged him for CIA, but definitely not undercover as I think most would remember his stache. If you look closely at it, it's curled in a spiral and has about four loops.
This was a highlight for me. This here is Frazer Coppin from England. The current World Champion in my category, the musketeer. He's a super nice guy and one hell of a snazzy dresser. He gave me many tips about maintaining and how to style. Lots of hairspray, homemade wax concoction (part beeswax and part vasoline), and small women's hair straighteners. His moustache and goatee were done up so much, neither moved even when the wind picked up. As we were talking I couldn't help but watch the end of his goatee almost reach the beer in his cup, which he was holding at the same level in the picture.

Here are a pair of twins who are only 22 years old and have been growing for two years. Sam has the straight out one (English style) and Devin has his up in a Dali. They also had tips on how to make homemade wax and Sam told me that if you wax your stache up super tight, you can still work in a deli because the wax is a kind of facial hair net.

This is Xavier Marvel. His sister Daphne met my friend Andrea in Spain and they both talked about us. We just happened to be standing next to each other in line to get beer and I overheard him introduce himself to someone. Just another example of the small world of facial hair.

This is Alex Antebi and he's the reigning champion of the Imperial Moustache category. We talked for a little while and he complimented my stache. He was carrying around a purse the whole time. Paul and I met up with him at a bar later and one of the girl bartenders commented on his "man bag" and he said, "No honey. It's a purse." He ended up giving Paul lots of advice on his stache and groomed him a bit.
Here we have Nick. We only talked for a few minutes, but last year Nick decided to drop out of college and go to log cabin building school, which he just completed and now builds log cabins for a living and has never been happier. He's going to do freestyle on Saturday and wouldn't tell me what his outfit is, so it'll be interesting to see what turns out. He's got a lot to work with.
There were cameras and film crews everywhere and pictures were being taken willy-nilly. Paul and I got interviewed by this guy from New York.
It's been a lot of fun to be in a room of facial hair contemporaries and all-stars. The main guys are very serious about it, but have a lot of fun in the process. They're celebrities in this world and this is the Oscars. Walking around it was funny how much beer foam you saw sticking to staches and being licked off. Everyone had a great time and talked to everyone else, but you know in the back of their minds they're sizing up the competition at the same time. I have to say, I've never had more fun in a room with bearded people.

Super Beerds Bash Bros.

Tuesday was the inevitable first gathering of the bearded competitors. But first! We once again roamed around downtown Anchorage and decided to stop and eat lunch at a place called Snow Goose Restaurant and Sleeping Lady Brewery. There I had a caribou burger (more or less a dry regular burger) and some fantastic brews.


Now I must make a note about the beer here. I had possibly the best beer of my recent life here. It was called John Henry Oatmeal Stout. After tasting it, I almost didn't want to keep drinking it just to preserve it for all time. I now know how the ancient Egyptians felt about their pharaohs. Here I was, a lowly pyramid building slave and I had found my ever-loving pharaoh that I wanted to mummify. At the brewery I also had two more beers called Fish-On! IPA and Braveheart Scottish Ale. Here they are in order of mentioning.



After lunch we wandered around once again and made our way home to compose ourselves for the first meeting of facial wonders. We met up with about eight of them and carpooled over to the Wildberry place that we perused on Monday. Apparently there was some kind of Chamber of Commerce meeting going on and they paraded us in as a promotional tool. I don't like being used, but they applauded us and gave us beer so I was satiated.

Next we went to the Midnight Sun Brewery (somewhat later than expected due to our beer stopover prior) for a tour (which we missed) and tasting.


The beer was delicious and I had several, but their best ones that I had were the Kodiak Brown Ale and the SonofaBerserker. I also had several higher content ones with names like Obliteration IV and Meltdown.

We mingled among the bearded folk and everyone was very congenial. Here's Neal from Alaska, who made me an honorary Alaskan, and Paul from Australia with the handlebar.


I talked to several people, but Ed here was a standout because he originally came from Arcadia and graduated high school in '66, but now lives up here. He also drives an old beat up orange BMW and is a rather haphazard driver. He reminds me of Randy Main.

It was good to meet the guys and find out where they're from and compare bearded tales of wonder and amazement.

Paul, Antony (from Scarborough UK), and I decided to do our own makeshift pub crawl around downtown and managed to hit up five different bars with the help of some locals. We lost Antony along the way, but I'm assuming he's alive.

Next, how much BBQ food can a collection of the world's finest beards get stuck in their facial hair.

Roll for the Beard to move South

Monday.
We awoke rather early (my internal and external clocks are all awhack) and rented a car and headed down the uncomplicated Alaskan Highway 1 to Seward. The drive had breathtaking views of mountains looming over the mud flats.

We stopped along the way at Exit Glacier and it was amazing. It may be rapidly receding, but damn, that thing is still a great sight.

The drive down was pretty scenic and we made it to Seward in a matter of hours (stopping over to stretch, eat, etc.) Once in Seward there was not much to do that did not involve boating or killing animals so we wandered around and decided to have a quick bite to eat at Red's Food Wagon. A bus turned food joint.

Once we returned to Anchorage we went to the Alaska Wildberry Park and saw this chocolate waterfall that upon seeing Mom declared she would like to stick her head in it. I laughed it off, but ended up holding her back when she fell into a trance and started chanting "Kali Ma..."


After deciding not to have dinner there we went to a place called Gwennie's and had a good ol' family dinner with abundantly large portions. I had to try their Alaskan Beer sampler and enjoyed the Amber out of the three. It was here that I discovered that there's an Alaskan Stout that's only in a bottle. I was going to have it, but the food filled me to the brim.


We returned back to home base a bit tired from driving so much, but it was well worth it. And that, my friends, was Monday.

Biking with the Beard

Hello True Believers!
I forgot to mention yesterday that the town is abuzz with beard lovers. These signs are posted all over and we've only gotten good reception and good luck from the locals.



Day two began and we had a leisurely stroll through the local weekend outdoor market where I partook in reindeer and elk chili. Delicious and yet, somewhat the same as regular chili.

Next was a bike ride along the Tony Knowles Coastal Trail. We rode for a while and saw Mt. McKinley off in the distance. Along the trail we saw this statue of a little girl farting a large rock. Classic.

Without much of a plan, we roamed around the streets of Anchorage and found several places for me to wet my whistle.



Finally, a little something for those of you who like to lord embarrassing things over me. This one's for you.

Spartacus goes North

Hey Friends and Followers -
The plane trip to the Northern tip is made a-okay by my friend Jack Daniels.


We arrived and found the apartment we're staying at and quickly moved to downtown Anchorage, where we found the Glacier Brewing Company where I had a beautiful Oatmeal Stout and a Raspberry Blonde.


We've seen a bit of Anchorage in these two days and I'll post more later... especially of everything I've drunk and/or eaten. I actually meet people from the competition on Tuesday night, so don't expect much crazy beardness until then (despite my own). Au revoir mes amies! The North doesn't get dark until super late and I can't help but love a night life where there's no night. I now have a valid reason for wearing my shades at "night."