Monday, June 1, 2009

Partial Beards hold Senate

So, next we began the partial beard category. And wouldn't you know it, Musketeers were up first. Now, I didn't get to take many pictures of this since I was up there, but Mom got this video of all of us waiting that pretty much sums up the competition.




Here's one of me up on stage. The guy next to me has a mohawk under that ginormous hat and he's from San Francisco.

It was quite a fun time being up on stage. Nerve-racking standing next to all these guys, but fun none the less. They parade you up and make you do a lap in front of the judges and then take you five at a time in front of the judges for better judging. The main thing is that behind the judges there's probably about 50 video cameras and flash bulbs going off like crazy. More parading and standing and posing and you're off-stage. A great 10 minutes of my life.

Juergen from Germany took first place and Frazer took second (Frazer got first last time and Juergen got second), and Reinhold from Germany got third.

After the awards were given out, Frazer and I were talking in the beer line and he said it was great to win again, but he was really hoping that one of the young guys would've placed. A true gentleman to the end. This is also the same time when Mom looked over and he was tugging on one side of my moustache and comparing it to his own...

Next up was the Fu Manchu. Now I think Sid should enter this category mostly because there were only two competitors, neither of which were Asian! They still rocked it though.
Ted won first place again (this is the same guy from the picnic who had his moustache all twirled up and was looking like an old British detective and had one eye of his glasses darker than the other) and Detleff was awarded second. Ted defends his Fu Manchu championship once again.

Next came the natural goatees. Basically, you just let it grow and shape it, but no product allowed. Really impressive stuff here.
This is the lead singer of the Beards and the man behind such songs as "If Your Dad Doesn't Have a Beard, You've Got Two Moms" and "A Wizard Needs a Beard."
That's Pat from Seattle. He and his buddy own a bar and decided to come up and try out their luck. They used to cavort around the L.A. area and we chatted about that a lot during the parade. He really liked doing that finger shooting thing as proven by the pictures above and below this caption.There was a tie for first place and the judges had to have another beard-off between little Grandpa man (his name's actually Breman, but little Grandpa man is much catchier) and Paul Beisser from Santa Cruz. Paul won out, but there was tons of crowd support for little Grandpa man.
I took a small break from beard watching to get beer and here's a picture of my beer with beards. This also made me miss out on a few competitors in the Imperial Partial Beard category.
The Imperial Partial beard category wasn't that popular with Americans and I don't believe that I actually met any of these people, but crazy respect for that cheek hair.

A new category this year was Alaskan Whaler, which is pretty much a nice full beard, sans lip hair. It proved to be a popular choice (probably because we were actually in Alaska).
Here's our token monk... with Adidas on. At least they match his robe. I saw him later at a bar and started trying to explain to him that he should've been chanting and hitting his head on a book. He looked at me very quizzically and then I realized he doesn't speak much English at all. I thought if anything could transcend language barriers, it would be Monty Python. Oh well.
I met this guy on Tuesday at the Midnight Sun Brewery. He was telling me how great Alaska is because you can wear the same clothes day after day and no one cares. He also told me that he thought putting duct tape on his outfit would give him an edge and impress the judges with his "eye for detail." It didn't work.
All three of the winners were from Alaska, so that was an added source of local pride. The guy who took first, Jerem, was sitting next to us and I watched him and his friends heartily celebrate his win with about two trips to the bar every 30 minutes.

We now move on to the Sideburns category. Again, an impressive array of sideburns showed up, but there can be only one.Toot Joslin shows up in fine form. I noticed that with the heavy hitters in the category, they actually have such long sideburns that they take the ends of them and tuck them behind their ears, getting that nice full rounded look. Compare Toot here to Toot from the pre-judging, there's a vast difference.This was Warren's category, too and he went up looking very dapper. Later on that night, we shared beard horror stories and his included a friend of his zipping up his sweater straight into his facial locks. He lost quite a few long hairs that day, and quite a few tears.
This is Eric and we started talking at a bar where I told him he looks like he belongs in the Electric Mayhem. I then found out that he graduated from San Dimas High back in '91. There's something to put in the Alumni news, San Dimas High. Two graduates, 11 years apart, compete together in the World Beard and Moustache Championships. Stick that in your smudgepot and smoke it, Bonita.The legend of Toot remained supreme as he grabbed first place from Bruno from Italy.
Bruno (in the middle) didn't speak a word of English and was one of only two competitors from Italy. Notice how both Bruno and Toot's sideburns are nicely tucked behind the ears. I think I've stumbled onto the secret of world class sideburns. Start growing now, friends.

Freestyle Partial Beard. A good category with many different styles.
I'm not exactly sure what he was supposed to be, but someone said that his goatee was supposed to be a star. I can see it.This contestant took the title "partial beard" a little too literally. He was funny though and stood in profile and rotated back and forth while being judged. Here's the other delegate from Italy. He carried that horn around with him all weekend and I think I only heard him blow on it once. Unfortunately, I didn't get a good picture of the first place winner, but his goatee was styled very ornately. Almost clockwork with it's twists and turns. Very Willy Wonk-ish. Ha ha. Wonkish.

Now I know you're all bummed not to see my smiling face illuminated by a gold mining pan of my own, but brown paper is just as shiny in my mind.Next: Full Beard showdown.