Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Beards do Battle

Saturday morning came all too early. I woke up and waxed the hell out of my stache and then got ready for the morning pre-judging, to see if you fit the category you plan on competing in. Lines and lines of nervous bearded men.There's Toot Joslin (Tim Tran's hero) pre-judging my stache.
And my number to be held during the judging; it felt so much like a dog show for grown men.

I went back and changed into my outfit and then we went over to the local market where they did a little beard presentation with the competitors. Then off to the Dena'ina Center to get our seats and for the competition to begin.American Gothic in the Living Classics Pageant. They allow a little nervous crying, but you can tell they don't like it.
This guy was super cool. Shaved "B" and an "E" on the right side of his face. Then made his goatee into an "A". Then shaved "R" and D" on the left side. For those of you who can't spell, it's BEARD.

They started with moustaches. First category: Natural Moustache.
Keith was in this category and for some reason he brought a fake mouse and was shaking it at people and later stabbed it with his knife. Here are the winners. Keith got second and one of the guys we met the prior night got third. The Dutch guy in the middle took first.

English moustache was next...
Sam got third place.
George Haskins got second place for the second year in a row.And Lutz from Germany got first. His stuffed bear has an English moustache as well, and is his good luck charm.

Then came the Imperial moustache category and Paul's turn to go up before the judges. This was a very competitive category.Alex went up and got all kinds of crazy. Dance moves and egging on the crowd abounded. He was working that outfit too.
This guy was a crowd favorite. Later on at a bar, the management wouldn't let him take his giant "dumbbell" inside, so he decided to stand out on the patio with the rest of us bearded ones and they gave him back his dumbbell. He then hoisted them high above his head and declared loudly "They gave me back my balls!"Paul was a bare knuckle boxer and had contemplated bloodying up his knuckles for effect, but decided against punching the sidewalk a bunch of times. These three won. I'm not sure of all their names, but all three were from L.A. so that was pretty good. Guy in the middle got first, guy on the left got second and he's part of the Bristly Chaps chapter of Beard Team USA. Alex got third and he's showing the camera his better side. When they were interviewing Alex on stage, he stopped what he was saying and said "I want to say this guy over here should've won. He has the best Imperial moustache out of all of us" and he was pointing at Paul. He said it over and over and Paul just kept turning more and more red. Later on, Alex told us that he thought that Paul had the best Imperial that was actually an Imperial while all these other guys were just trying to imitate a true Imperial... he also said if Paul could find a hacksaw before the night was over he would saw his third place Gold Plate in half and give half to him. We didn't find a hacksaw, but not for lack of looking.

Here are the Wild West Hungarian moustaches. How did they associate the wild West and Hungarians? I have no idea.
This is Nick. I talked to him for a while in the registration line at the picnic. He moved to Alaska a few years ago and hates it. As soon as he can get out he plans to. Also, up until a few months ago he had a full beard, but decided he had a better moustache. Nick took first and the guy next to him is Gunter from Germany and he won last time in Brighton, but was awarded second this year. The guy next to him is also German. When interviewed on stage what had inspired him to grow his moustache, Nick replied "I just hate to shave."

Next on the roster is the Dali. Devon (one of the twins) had planned to enter this category, but he wasn't allowed because the edges of the moustache are not allowed to go above your eyebrows, which his do exponentially.This is Max from Germany and he just couldn't help from schmoozing with just about everyone in the convention center once on the stage. He also won first prize in this category in Brighton. He just paraded around like a true gentleman.
This is Jeff and he and I talked for a while during the parade. This is his fourth World Beard and Moustache Championship and he even won third place in the Dali last time.
The guy on the left won third and said that he thought he was going to place last time, but didn't so he got so frustrated and shaved off his moustache and he just started growing it back a few months ago. Max took second and was elated. Tony from Germany won first place.

And finally (for the moustaches), the freestyle category.Here's Devon. You can't really tell from the picture, but he curled one half of his moustache to go under his lips and the other half to go above, kind of like a backwards S made of facial hair.
This is Keith Haubrich, aka Ghandi Jones. He styled up one side of his stache to be a fork and one side to be a spoon. I went to the restroom on the second floor (which they had closed off for contestants only for styling) before the competition and he was sitting on the counter with his legs up styling himself. He had a big jar of black stuff and some wax and he was telling the girl who must've been documenting him that he needed some scissors. Someone in a stall yelled out that he had some and slid them across the floor for him to use. We're all class at the World Beard and Moustache Championships.
Well Ghandi Jones got first and Devon got second. They were definitely the real standouts this year in the freestyle. Luk from Beglium got third and he just had really nice, defined, large curls.

That's it for the moustache competition. There's still partial beards and full beards to go. Sorry this is so slow, but there are so many pictures to choose from and the ones that do make it take a while to upload. Bear with me.

Monday, May 25, 2009

So two beards walk into a bar...

Here are some more pictures from the Parade of Beards and the Welcome Party on Friday night.
The Welcome Party was at the Denai'nai Center and it was a rather nice place. Newly built and all shiny still. The patio had a spectacular view and, of course, there was lots of beer.
This is the scene during the local Mr. Fur Face competition. Basically an informal for fun contest based on certain facial hair colors and styles. They're all holding up their plaques. My friend Brian got best in the Red Fox category, but Bob won overall.
Alaska was made for the beer drinker. I finally found home. It embraces both of my hobbies: facial hair and beer.

After the Mr. Fur Face competition The Beards took the stage.



After the night wound down we found ourselves hitting up what had become our local bars and meeting new bearded people. That's Ian, Tim (both Kiwis), and Antony at a place called Subzero that gave us many a free drink and had a great Belgian beer selection. After hanging with these guys and Paul all week, people were asking where I was from when I'd talk to them because I had grown an accent.
And to finish the night early, a nice dark porter. After all, we had a big day to look forward to... so we went back at 2am.

Saturday, May 23, 2009

Beards on Parade

We woke up today and decided to eat lunch at a place called the White Spot and it was fantastic. Some of the best onion rings I've ever had.

So when there's something scheduled called the "Parade of Beards" how can that not be good? Well don't ask me because this thing was amazing. We all gathered out by the little log cabin visitor center and just kind of hung out. Everyone was dressed up and in good spirits.
Here's Nick from the other night. He shaved his head and joined a cult in that small amount of time.

This guy in particular was very cool. He's from San Francisco and keeps his beard wrapped in this wire thing pretty much all the time. He told me that if he took it out, his beard would probably be down to just about his ankles. In the parade he kept chanting "Beards not bombs."
Different beard and moustache clubs were represented and different country's flags were being waved all around.Paul met up with the rest of his Aussie brethren and they gave him a hat. Which he later gave to me.
And then we began to walk. People were coming out of the woodwork to see us just walking down the street. You could overheard them on their cell phones "Oh man. You have got to come downtown and hurry." There was tons of cheering. A couple people went on top of buildings to get a better view. I've never had my picture taken or been filmed so much. You couldn't ask for a better reception.



Back at the little log cabin, we heard some speeches from people like the Mayor, Bob the organizer, and some guy from the local news. Then a beard rap.



There was a small break in the action and Mom and I went back to the Snow Goose for a quick bite of Northern Exposure pizza and so that I could get my last pint of John Henry stout.
We then went to the Denai'ina Center and started to mingle at the welcome party. Again, serve beer and the beards will come. They had a fun local beard competition that they had pushed back so that the all-stars could join in. It's called Mr. Fur Face. Our friend Brian won the Red Fox category, but Bob the organizer took the whole thing. We saw more and more people and then a band called the Beards took the stage. They rocked out. All songs about beards with titles like "No Beard, No Good," "Beard Revolution," "Beards Don't Kill People, People With Beards Kill People" and more. Classic beard rock.

The party wound down and everyone went their separate ways. Our little group of friends (now 2 New Zealanders, a Brit, an Aussie, and me) went to our usual spot and had a few pints, but kept it relatively low-key since the big day was looming.

note: there's more to see from this day (some of the Beards videos and pics from the party), but we're pressed for time so expect more from this day soon.